Making Changes in Your Decision Making
Sheffield Central Library Carpenter Room
©David Garlovsky, March, 2017
DECISION MAKING STEPS –
The exercise is done in partners. Read over the instructions together before you begin. You can both do it silently, or take turns, with one person guiding.
This is practise in asking yourself questions. Actually say the words to yourself in your head as though you were another person talking to you. After you ask the question in words, direct your attention to what those words might really refer to in you. Take a minute and see what answer you get.
Step 1 Relax.
- Letting go of your usual way of thinking and feeling, your usual way of talking to yourself.
- Letting go of the feeling of trying to do something or get somewhere
- Letting words come from, match or fit your bodily felt experience
- Creating a space for something more than “just” feeling or “just” thinking – an actual experience of release, change, shift, new awareness
- Being willing to allow the possibility of change (even though that may not feel possible at the time you are focused on your felt experience.
Step 2 Say to yourself silently but in words, “What if anything do I need to make a decision about, at the level of difficulty you feel willing to deal with.
Is it a decision that is making me sad or unhappy now?” (Or angry, or happy, or any other emotion) WAIT and see if you get an answer.
Step 3 If you got an answer, say it now to yourself silently, but in words, for example “I’m unhappy about ____”. Describe as vividly as you can. Be brief.
Step 4 What body sensations go with that feeling about the decision? Describe the quality and location of the felt experience. See if there are connections with other sensations., especially through the body centre.
Step 5 Locate the centre of the sensation or group of sensations.
Step 6 When you find the centre of the sensation, WAIT. Be aware of an image, sound or gesture that comes to you as you pay attention to the centre of the sensation.
Step 7 What body sensations now go with the image, sound, or gesture?
Step 8 What emotional feelings now go with the sensation, and the image, sound or gesture that best fits the decision?
Step 9 Find one or two words that match the sensation, feeling and image/sound/gesture.
Step 10 Check with your body sensation to see if the words actually fit.
Step 11 What happens to your body sensation when you find words that fit the felt experience
Step 12 Recall how you felt when you started. See how you feel the same or different now.
Step 13 Do whatever you need to do to complete the exercise so you are not left hanging with any unfinished aspect of the decision.
Sharing. Partners share about the exercise. If you did it silently, at the same time, go on to the next exercise. If not, exchange roles and repeat the exercise.
D. Exercise. Repeat the exercise, using any of the questions given as examples, or pick one of your own.
E. Group Discussion. Take pencil and paper and write down all the questions you can think of for yourself. 10 Minutes
Share as many of these as you want in the group. These questions can be guides for you in future decison experience. If there is time, break up into partners and repeat the exercise.